100 Days In,

Since President Obama feels the need to hold a press conference to congratulate himself on lasting 100 days in office (thus moving Scrubs from tonight AND most likely causing Lost to start late) I figure I should pitch in and compile my own list of the presidents fine achievements in these first 100 days.

1. He spent more money in his first 100 days than some presidents spent in their entire terms.

2. He has signed an order to close the military prison at Guantanimo Bay, releasing hundreds of terrorists onto US streets and streets of any country who is stupid enough to accept them.

3. He has given al Queda our interrogation playbook and manipulated Americans to think that a caterpillar constitutes torture.

4. He has become more attached to a TelePrompTer than I am to my own appendages.

5. He broke all codes of behavior upon meeting the Queen of England
5a. He gave the Queen of England an iPod...full of his own speeches.

6. He gave the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom dvds...that were region 1 and would not play on Gordon Brown's region 2 DVD player.

7.He bowed to the leader of Saudi Arabia.

8. He is now BFFs with Hugo Chavez

9. He has repeatedly ruined my television watching schedule with his horribly-timed press conferences and addresses to the nation. Yes, I am bitter.

Those are the most important achievements, I think. 100 days down, 1360 to go. But, you know, I'm not counting or eagerly anticipating it or anything.